are you or someone you know experiencing social isolation or the lack of meaningful intimate relationships?
It turns out that:
human connection = longer, healthier life
Lack of human connection = shorter lifespan, chronic illness
Strong, loving relationships with other human beings are better for your health than exercise or a perfect diet.
Science is proving what ancients knew thousands of years ago: social isolation can lead to disease and a shorter life span. Individuals who are socially isolated have weaker immune systems, increased inflammation, and greater risk of viral infection and other disease. Social isolation can result in altered genetic expression in our brain cells, lymph nodes, breast tissue, ovaries and prostate. They call it social genomics.
sexual "dysfunction" or ... FROM FERTILIZER TO FLOWERS
The old way of seeing one another is that some people are "broken" due to past "trauma" and they need to see a doctor or a psychiatrist to be "fixed." Once they are no longer "diagnosed" or they are "functional" using prescription medication then they are "cured." This system is outdated and no longer serves us.
Concepts like "erectile dysfunction," "premature ejaculation," "non-orgasmic," "frigid," "social anxiety," "sexual aversion, "delayed ejaculation," "avoidant personality disorder," "late-life virginity," and "uncertainty of sexual orientation" are out of date and not helpful. These labels insinuate that you are broken, which you are not. Likewise, the ineffective "solutions" such as pills, creams, products, endless contraptions, surgeries and suppressing sexual arousal are a waste of time, energy and money. Some might help temporarily, in the moment but ... what good does that do in the long term? Are you going to use these crutches for the rest of your life? Or would you prefer to heal these pieces of yourself once and for all?
The new way of seeing one another is that none of us are broken. Instead, we all have healing to do. To heal is to allow ourselves to become more whole, to allow our energy to become more vibrant so we can become the full expression of who we were meant to be. Every human can become more vibrant.
In this way of seeing one another we all have fertilizer in our past, not "trauma." Each piece of fertilizer can be transformed into a beautiful flower if we learn the lesson it has to teach us. We clean our fertilizer when we learn the lesson that piece of fertilizer, that energetic block, offers to teach us. We each have our own lessons to learn. Our fertilizer, things that other people might call "trauma" or "neglect," is beautiful because it is our own personal roadmap to freedom if we know how to decode the map.
The more we transform our fertilizer into flowers, the bigger and brighter our garden becomes!
ThE JUICY TRUTH
You know what The Juicy Truth is, right? The Juicy Truth is that YOU are a vibrant, sexy, exciting, juicy delicious morsel! Your authentic self is delightful, joyful, honest, real, happy, sad, playful and ... arousing. If you don't feel this is true for you right now ... maybe you would benefit from a little practice.
WHAT IS A SURROGATE PARTNER?
Surrogate means substitute. As a surrogate partner, I become a practice partner. You have a safe space to practice and hone all of the skills and capacities that unfold inside an intimate relationship.
Surrogate partners are for those who want to heal their ability to be in intimate relationship, but do not have a partner. A surrogate partner is a member of a team consisting of you, your therapist, and your surrogate partner. You enter a relationship with your surrogate partner, and your therapist is there to support you through the process.
Have you seen the TV show Masters of Sex? It is about Dr. William Masters and Virginia Johnson, who introduced surrogate partner practice in the 1960's publishing details in their textbook on Human Sexual Inadequacy in 1970. Since the 1970s, surrogate partner use declined in popularity but it is experiencing a renaissance today.
Did you see the 2012 movie The Sessions about a man who has a severe spinal cord injury and his surrogate partner, starring Helen Hunt and John Hawkes? Helen Hunt was Hawkes' surrogate partner.
IS A SURROGATE PARTNER RIGHT FOR YOU?
If you are unable to express yourself in intimate relationship the way you would like to, if your body isn't doing what you want, or if sex is scary or sometimes feels impossible, a surrogate partner might be for you.
If you have been diagnosed with a dysfunction mentioned above, are differently-abled including spinal-cord-compromised, or are learning to be inside a transgendered body, a surrogate partner might be for you.
If you need a safe space to learn intimacy, a surrogate partner might be for you.
what I offer
I have witnessed miraculous results again and again. Clients who have tried various ways of healing in the past frequently find that the path to lifelong success is by experiencing a safe partnership, developing skills inside a real relationship, and opening fully to intimacy with professionally trained therapeutic support.
I am honored to be one of the first surrogate partners certified by the Institute for Mind Body Therapy, trained by two legends in the field, Dr. Tova Feder, author of Sex is the Least of It and many others, and one of Masters and Johnson's students, Dr. Susan Kaye. I work closely with your talk therapist so you have the full support of both professionals as you embody your full potential in sex and intimacy.
With me you will have a safe, nonjudgmental space to receive surrogate partner services in the heart of one of the most energized cities in the world, Austin, Texas. All genders welcome. You can experience one session at a time or, if you are visiting from out of town, an intensive set of sessions over two or more days.
the role of your talk therapist
You are only eligible for surrogate partner services if you are actively working with a talk therapist. If you feel this healing might be right for you, contact a qualified talk therapist to set up an initial conversation.
Are you a therapist? Take a look at the therapists' corner page on the menu.